… Intentionally Offensive Since 2006
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Cowboys Nation,
The Dallas Cowboys took care of business at home against the Seahawks, as expected. They are still struggling to score touchdowns in the red zone, though, and this is the primary concern for this team moving forward. Too many short field goals. This does, I admit, score an easy three points, and the short field goals give the rookie kicker loads of confidence to hit longer, more pressure-filled field goals later. But the fact of the matter is that Jason Garrett’s 2011 Dallas Cowboys just can’t put anybody away and coast to a victory. The games are always closer than they should be and filled with unnecessary drama. Then, with the pressure of the end of a close game at its peak, somebody on the Cowboys (usually Romo) does something stupid to lose the game. I realize that didn’t happen against Seattle, (final score 23-13) but this team should be 7-1, not 4-4. If the Tuna really is right, then the Cowboys are a mediocre team at .500. “You are what your record says you are.”

QB Tony Romo went 19 for 31 with 279 yards passing, two touchdowns, and no interceptions. That was a good game. I’ll take that week in and week out. Tony has the fifth highest QB rating in the league at the halfway point of the season. DeMarco Murray rushed for 139 yards on 22 carries, for a 6.3 yard/ carry average. I’ll take that, too. But the failures in the red zone in the first half of the game kept it somewhat close. The halftime score should have been 21-3. Garrett has no creativity in first and goal situations. Pounding it in between the tackles ain’t workin’ for this offensive line. The fade route pass to the corner rarely works for the Cowboys. Only when Romo had 6 seconds to stand back in the pocket on his own five yard line was he able to find an open Laurent Robinson in the back of the end zone for a red zone TD. That kinda shit doesn’t happen against a good team. Garrett should know that.

Last week only four home teams in the NFL won their games; Dallas being one of them. The Cowboys seem to be relying on others to do their dirty work for them as well. The Bears beat the E-girls, San Francisco beat the Foreskins (as they so love to do in the Bay Area), and the Vagiants beat Sunshine Brady; something Garrett failed to do. This puts Dallas firmly into second place in the division, two games behind New Jersey… for now. The Vagiants have on their schedule in the next five games, in order: San Francisco, Philadelphia, New Orleans, Green Bay, and Dallas. They could easily lose all five, giving the Cowboys the edge to win the East.

Eli Update: After She-li Womanning and his merry band of Vagiants left New England with a victory last Sunday, he celebrated at the New Jersey safe house with Ahhhmad Bradshaw and a busload of Play 60 kids. There was lots of under-age drinking and frolicking in the showers, with hot, steamy, man-boy action as She-li led the way celebrating in typical Giants style. Remember, you can’t spell pedophILE without a messed up Eli. Gee, and he didn’t even go to Penn State.

Next up for the Best Team In Football is another home game, this time hosting the Buffalo Bills. Buffalo started out hot, and has cooled off somewhat lately, beating Philly and New England, and losing to the two New Jersey teams, so we’re not exactly sure which team is going to show up in Dallas on Sunday. The Cowboys need to keep running the ball effectively, and be able to control the line of scrimmage so Tony can throw without too much pressure. Don’t turn over the ball, and this is another win. Dallas is not a fumbling team; it’s all about the interceptions. All the teams in the AFC East, except Miami, are 5-3, tied for first in their division. The Cowboys lost to the Pats and Jets, so it’s time to TCB and beat the shit out of the Bills. It makes me want to watch the replay of Super Bowl XXVII, the greatest Super Bowl of all time. The only problem is that game was 19 years ago. The Cowboys need to win another Super Bowl. I don’t want to keep living in the past like the Bears fans of ’85.

Prediction: Dallas 38- Buffalo 23
I look for this one to be a bit more high scoring. I’d love to see a 38-0 shutout, but I think Fitzpatrick will move his offense a few times and put up some scores against the Cowboys D. Austin and Jenkins, the Hamstring twins, are out again this week, so Dez and Scandrick will both have to have big games. DeMarcus Ware, held without a sack for the first time all year last week, will make up for it with a multi-sack performance against the Bills. Kill Joe! Here is the start of the winning streak that takes Dallas to the playoffs.

Go Cowboys!

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