… Intentionally Offensive Since 2006
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Cowboys Nation,

I waited seven months for THIS? An 0-2 start is not what I expected from this team at all. Huge talent, poor coaching. When you can move the ball consistently and rack up huge yardage every game, but then be unable to score points, then you’ve got major problems. This Cowboys team has major problems; and they’re staring 0-3 in the face as they match-up with in-state rivals Houston on Sunday.

From the very beginning of the Bears game last Sunday, the Cowboys looked rather lost on the field. On the opening kickoff, the Bears committed an illegal block in the back that was not called a penalty, and Johnny Knox returned the ball out to the 40. The only redemption from the refs was that they also didn’t call a blatantly obvious face mask penalty on Anthony Spencer on his sack of Jay Cutler on that first possession, forcing a punt by the Bears. Then Tony throws a ball to Miles Austin, who makes the catch, gets pummeled, coughs up the ball, which is then caught in mid-air for an interception. Not Tony’s fault, but nobody cares when they’re looking at the box score. Lots of stupid plays and needless mistakes and penalties later, the Bears hold on for the 27-20 win. Apparently, the Cowboys secondary doesn’t know how to cover anyone downfield. Again, that’s a coaching issue; and it’s all on Dave Campo and Brett Maxie.

Here’s the big question of the day: What is the rule for forward progress in the NFL? In the second quarter, Miles Austin caught a pass, was held up and pushed backward, the ref blows the whistle stopping the play, and the Bears defenders ripped the ball out and pushed Austin out of bounds. Cowboys keep the ball at the forward progress spot; first down Cowboys. In the fourth quarter, as the Cowboys are in desperation mode, Roy Williams catches the ball (yea!), gets his forward progress stopped, is pushed back and then held up by the defender, and then another DB comes in and strips the ball, and the Bears recover it. First down Chicago. Why were there two different interpretations of this rule by the same officials in the same game on identical plays? Was it because it was late in the fourth quarter and the refs are afraid to blow the whistle? Are there different rules for the last two minutes of the game regarding the forward progress of the ball carrier? Was it because it was Roy Williams and the refs know he’s gonna fumble? Can someone please enlighten me, or am I to be left with my ever enduring emotions enamoring these erroneous evaluators; ie. I hate the fuckin’ refs.

The one good bright spot of this team as it stands in last place in the NFC East, is rookie Dez Bryant’s punt return for a touchdown last Sunday against the Bears. Of course, the Cowboys have to go against the odds, and actually LOSE a game in which they have scored a special teams touchdown. Statistics say you’re supposed to win about 75% of the time when you do that. But oh no, not Dallas. It’s just that Wade & Co. doing their best to find new and interesting ways to lose ballgames seems to be the one constant in their M.O. It’s going to be a long season, sports fans.

Prediction: Cowboys 28 – Texans 27

The Texans have the number one offense in the NFL, and also the 32nd ranked defense. They can’t be stopped, and they can’t stop anyone else. The Colts came out of the gate against them looking very flat. The Redskins took them to overtime. The Cowboys can beat this team…they just have to find a way to get out of their own way. They have to be able to block the inside rush and blitz packages that Houston is going to throw at them. They have to establish the run, too. Maybe they should think about covering the Texans’ receivers, come to think of it. Maybe the Cowboys just need some coaches that have more than two neurons to rub together. Time to kill Joe, or else it’s 0-3 to start the year.

Go Cowboys!

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Cowboys Faithful,

First off, I’d like to welcome the newest member of Cowboys Nation, JJ Hentrich, into the fold. Congratulations to Charles and Deanne on their new addition. I understand that Dee did all the work, and Charles was just the donor.

Next, I’d like to celebrate the hard-fought Cowboys victory over their bitter rivals the Washington Deadskins. Tony Romo drove his team down the field for a game-winning touchdown to Roy Williams with no time left on the clock. I was so excited, jumping up and down, screaming, thrilled with the come-from-behind victory, and I turned off the TV, knowing they’d kick the extra point for the win. It was great!

What?

Say that again?

There was a holding call?

The Cowboys didn’t win?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Apparently, Cowboys back-up Right Tackle Alex Barron thought he was back in prison and decided to give Redskins Defensive Lineman Brian Orakpo a big hug, and then dance with him instead of BLOCK him on the last play of the game, which negated all of the team’s efforts to WIN the game. Just take his legs out low! Don’t bear-hug the guy! I mean, Femi Zeko could block better than Barron. Roy Williams went from being the hero scoring the winning touchdown to a “what if” statistical afterthought. Tony Romo deserved the victory. Instead, Donna McFlabb is smiling like he won the frickin’ Super Bowl.

Of course none of this happens if the Cowboys simply do their job for the first 59 minutes of the game. Why on earth does Jason Garrett call a play other than a kneel down after Barron gets called for a holding penalty in the last seconds of the first half, allowing for ANY possibility of the Tashard Choice fumble that resulted in a Redskin touchdown at the end of the first half? Buehler (whom I like) missed a very routine 34 yard field goal attempt in the first half that would have changed the entire complexion of the game. The Cowboys got flagged for 12 penalties for 91 yards (three of which were holding calls on Barron), while the Foreskins only had 5 penalties for 42 yards. The mistakes kept on coming, and the Cowboys couldn’t recover from them.

Let’s break this down. The Cowboys out gained Washington 380 to 250 in total yards. They had 24 first downs to Washington’s 17. They held the ball for 34:03 to the Redskins 25:57. The Cowboys defense did not allow an offensive touchdown against the Redskins, and hasn’t in the last 15 quarters. Tony Romo out played Donna McNadds all night, completing 31 of 47 passes for 282 yards and one touchdown, with no interceptions. Miles Austin had 10 catches for 146 yards and one touchdown.

Dez Bryant tied a Cowboys rookie record with 8 catches in his first game as a Dallas Cowboy. DeMarcus Ware was a beast, as usual, and recorded one sack on McNadds… And we lost.

DFN of the Week Award goes to Alex Barron. Like you didn’t already know that.

The one good parallel that we can take away from this game was that the 1993 Cowboys lost to Washington on opening night and went on to win the Super Bowl. All is not lost; just one game. There is still a mountain of hope left for this season; but still a mountain work ahead of them. Let’s put it this way: If the Cowboys continue to play like they did on Sunday night, then I need to make alternate plans for the first weekend in Feb. 2011.

Next up, Da Bears. This is the home opener for the Cowboys, and they are playing a team that “bearly” squeaked by the Lions on Sunday on a ‘shoulda-been’ touchdown call that got reversed. Hey Johnson, hold onto the ball! The Cowboys have to win this one…no excuses.

Prediction: Cowboys 24 – Bears 6

Look for Jay Cutler to throw a few picks, get sacked a few times, and whine all day long on the turf at Cowboys Stadium. The Cowboys need to minimize the mistakes, and create some turnovers. If they don’t kill Joe this Sunday, then it’s gonna be a bad time in the old town Sunday night.

Go Cowboys!

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Cowboys Nation,

It’s finally here. Football is back, and now it means something. There are two favorite sports seasons in America: football season, and waiting for football season. The waiting is over, which, according to Tom Petty, is the hardest part.

It became obvious that Jerry Jones has a cash flow problem the moment that Patrick Crayton was traded for a 7th round draft pick in next year’s draft. Why else would the Cowboys get rid of a solid contributor that can be a good receiver AND return punts? His close to 2 million dollar salary/ yr was the reason for the trade, not his productivity. I guess it was ultimately a smart move to at least pick up an additional 7th rounder for him instead of just releasing him without any future compensation. San Diego was the right move for Crayton, who can now fill in for the still-holding-out Vincent Jackson. Now the Cowboys are forcing themselves to push the development of their young receivers Kevin Ogletree and Dez Bryant. I can only imagine that the Chargers weren’t interested in Sam Hurd, otherwise the Cowboys would have been much smarter to trade him instead of Crayton. Oh well.

The Cowboys finished the interminable pre-season at 3-2. Lackluster performances all around in all 5 games, and, if you didn’t see them, you missed nothing. Jason (I swear I know what I’m doing) Garrett showed no imagination on offense, which lead to zero points and even less on-the-field excitement. Wade (Cow-eyes) Phillips ran only a base defense. This brings up 3 points: 1) The Cowboys were interested in working on the fundamentals, not winning games; 2) The Cowboys did not want to give other teams anything to study on film in order to prepare for them in the regular season; and 3) The offensive line and the running game both need a lot of work. I’m ok with the first two. It is, after all, pre-season. I’m very concerned with the third. If they can’t block and they can’t run, then they’re in trouble.

I’d say the one true bright spot this pre-season was kicker David Buehler. The kid has a monster leg, booms his kickoffs through the end zone with regularity, and has really improved on his field goal kicking. He got the opportunity to kick a last second game-winner against Miami and drilled it. Let’s all hope that he can do that in the regular season when the real pressure is on.

Rookie Free Agents who made the team: Chris Gronkowski, FB, Barry Church, S, Danny McCray, S, and Phil Costa, C. Good decisions on all of these guys. I think Cletus Gordon (4-yr veteran) got cut because of injury concerns. Maybe Jerry just wanted to infuse more youth into the team. Patrick Watkins just got out-played by the two rookie safeties. Costa making the team now makes cutting Cory Proctor look like a good idea. Gronkowski probably made the team in part due to John Phillips’s ACL injury.

NFL News: NY Jets CB Darrelle Revis finally signed a deal worth umpteen million dollars, 32 million of which are guaranteed. Good for him. Good for the Jets. I still think he’ll get injured in some karmic way.

Tom Brady was in a car accident this morning that he walked away from, but the person he hit had to be extracted from their van with the Jaws of Life. I’m sure der Furor will give the Boy Scout a pass on this one though.

Apparently Mike Shanahan now wants DT Albert Haynesworth to hit the road, and the Redskins are trying to deal him before the season starts on Sunday. Yeah… good luck with that one. Shanahan insists that Haynesworth will play against Dallas, and he probably will. How long that relationship lasts is up in the air. Any misfortune that befalls the Redskins can always be celebrated in Cowboys Nation.

NFL Commissioner Roger (Der Furor) Goodell reduced Ben Roethlisberger’s suspension down to four games. I know. We’re all shocked. If it were Tony Romo, he would have been suspended for a year. But, unlike Ben, Tony has no problem getting laid.

NFC East Showdown: Sunday night brings us to the big opening night showdown with the Washington Foreskins in Maryland. The Cowboys should win this one, but Mike Shanahan will be much better prepared than Jim Zorn ever dreamed of being. QB Donna McFlabb will start, even while still nursing his sprained ankle. There’s nothing like hunting a wounded gazelle, is there?

Big Game Tonight: The Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints play Bert Favor and his Vikings tonight to open the season. I think the Saints will win this one. They are 5 point favorites, and the defending champs have won their opener ten years in a row since Goodell changed the schedule to have a “featured Kickoff game”.

Prediction: Cowboys 26 – Deadskins 16

It’s time to open up the playbook, score some points, and let DeMarcus Ware and Anthony Spencer feed on quarterbacks again. We’ll see if McNadds can waddle out of the way in time to save his own “skin”. It’s time to kill Joe!

Season predictions:

1) Cowboys will win the East at 11-5

2) Cowboys will host and win the Super Bowl, beating the Chargers 35-21

3) Cowboys will have 7 Pro Bowl selections

4) Dez Bryant will replace Roy Williams in the starting lineup by week 8

5) DeMarcus Ware will be named Defensive Player of the Year

6) Tony Romo will pass for over 4400 yards, with 30 TD’s and 7 int’s

As always, Go Cowboys!

p.s. The hubcap doesn’t go wherever we don’t want the hubcap to go.

p.p.s. and Rod Woodson can eat shit