… Intentionally Offensive Since 2006
category: Uncategorized

Cowboys Nation,

Shake-ups at Valley Ranch have been enormous lately (E. Normus), not the least of which is the release of our most productive wide receiver over the last three seasons. Actually, the most productive WR in the league over the last three seasons. Yes, I’m talking about T.O.

Jerry Jones saw fit to waive Owens a year after he was given a three year, 34 million dollar extension on his contract, citing that “the team is going in a different direction”. Yeah, like closer to last place. What reason would JJ have to cut Owens other than he was a locker room cancer? Sure he’s a great receiver, but we can’t win with him. Actually, if you really look at it, we can’t win with anyone on our team right now. The last time we WON was with Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, and Michael Irvin. But T.O. gets the axe because he is the malignant force on the team. When the most famous quote that the guy has is, “I love me some me”, we have a problem. For that matter, why does a wide receiver have a most famous quote anyway? Can you name another WR with a famous quote? “I love me some me” obviously puts himself ahead of the team concept. The Cowboys just said to T.O. that it doesn’t matter how productive you can be, it matters if you can be a part of this team and make it a winner. Hey T.O., there’s no I in team… and there’s no u either.

We also waived Roy (safety) Williams. Again, after he received a huge contract extension. That now puts us about 22 million dollars into the dead cap money zone for the 2009 season. Why are we cutting two Pro Bowl players to whom we’ve already committed way too much money? Tumor is the rumor, tissue is the issue, and cancer is the answer. That, and Roy can’t cover a man downfield to save his mother’s life.

So those are the big cuts. Now we get to the trades and free agents. We traded, straight up, CB Anthony Henry (a starter) to Detroit, for QB Jon Kitna (a backup). Granted, we needed a better backup QB than Brad “Stone Shoes” Johnson, and Kitna has passed for over 4,000 yards twice in his career, in ’06 and ’07, but it sure looks like we’re trying hard to get Detroit back into the win column after an 0-16 season last year. I mean, we already overpaid them for Roy (WR) Williams with three draft picks, including our first rounder this April. So now we get psycho-boy on the sidelines and we pray for Tony Romo’s good health.

We lost Chris Canty to free agency, and he went to the fuckin’ Giants, of all places. Then we turn around and sign Igor Olshansky (FA from San Diego) to a new contract to replace Canty at DE. I think we actually may have won on this deal (for once). We also signed LB Keith Brooking (FA from Atlanta) to help with the middle of our defense. I think Zach Thomas’ days are numbered. We were the mechanical rabbit for Baltimore to resign Ray Lewis. It was not to be that he would come in and help our defense. We’ll live.

I think our two draft picks in the secondary last year will be very productive for us in ’09, that is Jenkins and Scandrick, and we need to pick up a new safety, hopefully one that can cover, and complement Ken Hamlin. Oh. And yes, we cut Pacman, for those of you that don’t follow football outside of my updates. Last month, upon hearing the news of his own release, Adam “I need a new nickname ‘cause I ain’t be scorin’ no touchdowns” Jones said, “Sheeeit man! I just bought me a new condo in Dallas next to da strip club! Now I gots ta move agin!” He won’t be missed.

I’ll report on the draft needs in the coming weeks.

Prediction: We regret our decisions concerning our wide receivers; all of them.

Go Cowboys!

Kill Joe!