… Intentionally Offensive Since 2006
category: Uncategorized

Cowboys Nation,

We all know that The Best Team In Football should be playing in this weekend’s “big game”, but we ended up tripping over our own press clippings again in December and went 1-3 in the final month (against four playoff teams) to effect our own early exit from the post-season tournament. In short, we sucked. Now I can only sit back and watch as our only hope left to beat the Stealers (yes, I spelled it that way on purpose) is the Arizona Cardinals.

“Hey, Arizona beat the Eagles! They’re going to the Super Bowl!”

“Yeah, but they’re still the Cardinals.”

We, the Cowboys, were supposed to win it all this year, and become the first team in the league to win six Super Bowls. Now the Stealers have that chance before we do, and they will probably finish off the deal. They are 7 point favorites over the Cards. God I hate the fuckin’ stealers. You all should know by now how much of a Kurt Warner fan I am (he did win one of my highly coveted awards this year), but I’m still rooting for his Cards to beat the pit out of Shitsburgh. I just don’t think they’re that good…both of them. The Cowboys had the chance to beat them both, and of course blew it both times because our head coach stood there on the sidelines like a vacant mouth-breather, and did his now-patented “do nothing” style of coaching job. Way to go, Wade! At least Jerry finally fired Brian Stewart. He needs to hire a new head coach and demote Wade to Defensive coordinator; but that’ll never happen.

Demarcus Ware made the Pro Bowl. He also made All-Pro. He had the best stats of any linebacker in the NFL this year. He led the league in sacks. He was the most feared and dominating player any offense faced this year, just ask ‘em. But the sports writers from the east coast, in their infinite wisdom and unbiased opinions, made James Harrison, LB Stealers, the Defensive Player of the Year. It’s biased, and it’s bullshit. Where’s Campbell Brown when we need her? Maybe we can get the James Harrison Memorial Hashmark in Tampa this weekend, kinda like Joe’s in the Meadowlands.

Did I mention that I hate the fuckin’ stealers?

Prediction: Tim gets too depressed to even watch the fourth quarter.

Kill Joe!

As always, Go Cowboys!