… Intentionally Offensive Since 2006
category: Uncategorized

Fellow Cowboy Fans,

We have come to the all important bye week in our schedule that, this year, essentially marks the halfway point in our season. So far we suck. And I say that with all due respect to the hard working folks who are responsible for putting this team that we love so dearly on the field each eagerly anticipated Sunday. At 5-4, we clearly need to change some things to get more wins and make the playoffs. The giants kicked our butts. And no, it didn’t feel good. After this week’s bye, we play at Washington, who just lost to Pittsburgh, who just lost to the Giants, who just beat us. We need to block for our QB, whoever it may be at the time, and we need to learn how to f’n tackle somebody. When you lose like we’ve been losing, you need to go back to the fundamentals.

At the halfway point, we can reflect on what this season has been so far. I said before the season started that we would go 11-5. I think that last year we were really an 11-5 team, we just won two games that we should have lost; Detroit and at Buffalo. This year’s version of our 11-5 team may just go 9-7, having lost two games already this year that we should have won; Washington and at Arizona. The luck we had last year has run out. It’s that easy to go from 13-3 to 9-7 in this league.

Let’s look at the injuries on which everyone is blaming our misfortune:

Tony Romo – finger fracture. Actually just an excuse to not go ring shopping with Jessica.

Terrence Newman – vaginitis

Kyle Kosier – pedicure infection

Felix Jones – ovarian cysts

Roy (Safety) Williams – manicure accident

Jason Witten – bruised ego

Flozell Adams – early retirement. He just failed to notify the team.

Wade Phillips – acute boot removal from ass. Boot was monogrammed with initials JJ.

We need to do more than just kill Joe, we need to play some fuckin’ football for once. I’m tired of watching this much talent get wasted by poor coaching decisions. We can’t win just by showing up in the uniforms of The Best Team In Football, we also have to play like them too.

Go Cowboys!

p.s. Yes, it will be painful actually rooting for OSU and OU to beat Tech. It would be very nice to see both Penn State and Alabama lose too. Hook’em Horns!

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