… Intentionally Offensive Since 2006
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Cowboys Nation,

These are the times that try men’s souls. It’s the playoffs, and if you lose you’re done. That cannot, and will not, happen to The Best Team In Football (us). Our Cowboys have stumbled down the stretch in December for yet another year, heading into January football with a lot of questions remaining to be answered.

Will Terrence Newman’s knee be ready to go? Will T.O. be back to 100% after his left ankle sprain he suffered in the Carolina game? Will Andre Gurode be back from his MCL sprain? Will Terry Glenn remember how to catch a pass? Will Roy “I’m changing my number back to 38 so the Refs don’t call me for anymore horse-collar tackles” Williams be able cover anyone in the secondary? Will anyone in the secondary cover a receiver for once? Will Tony throw it to our guys instead of their guys? Will our massive, beefy offensive line actually clear some holes for Julius and MB3 to run through? Will half of our coaching staff accept new jobs before the playoffs are over?

Dude, I’m gettin’ dizzy. I need a Heineken.

The fact of the matter is that we have to cowboy up and kick some serious ass in the next two games to get to the Super Bowl. Wade Phillips can’t just stand there on the sideline like a vacant mouth-breather and watch our team get beaten up and down the field because we’re not prepared, ala the Philly game. He needs to prove to all the Cowboys Faithful that he can in fact win a playoff game, and that Jerry Jones was correct that Wade was indeed the right man for the job. He’s already 0-3 in his playoff career as a head coach. An 0-4 record in the playoffs will be unacceptable. Wade is definitely on the hot seat.

Notes from around the league:

Randy Moss has got to be the biggest DFN in football. Telling everyone that breaking a record once held by Jerry Rice is meaningless will never score you any style points. Also, our favorite quote of the season, “Hey, we all grown mans, ain’t nobody gonna cry round here,” shows just how well Moss is fluent in ebonics.

Not that I’m anything close to a Browns fan, but has anyone noticed how pitifully lame their helmets are? They’re, well, uh…brown. No logo. No nothin’. Has the Browns front office ever considered anything else? Their fans all dress up like bulldogs. How about putting a bulldog face on their helmets and changing their image? I mean, it worked for the Broncos, Bucs, and Patriots. None of those teams ever won a Super Bowl until they changed their logo/image. Let’s face it. Tampa Bay was never going to win a Super Bowl with that gay blade on their helmet.

Wild Card Playoff predictions: more of a wish list rather than what I would wager on.

Seattle over Washington

Jacksonville over Pittsburgh

Tampa Bay over New York

San Diego over Tennessee

Go Cowboys!

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