… Intentionally Offensive Since 2006
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Nothing would be more satisfying than beating the Pats in the Super Bowl.
Actually, it would be more satisfying to beat the team in the Super Bowl that beats the Pats in the playoffs. And yes, Gene Wojofuckski can go eat shit.

Subject: Cowboys look good beating Pack … but they’re no Pats

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=wojciechowski_gene&id=3134592&sportCat=nfl

you can tell gene to eat shit.

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Cowboys Nation,

We got past our three Divisional opponents relatively unscathed. Three wins, and only one minor injury (Patrick Crayton). No one expected the Jets to be all that tough to beat, and they weren’t. Terrence Newman came up big with key interceptions in the last two games, stopping a late drive against the Deadskins, and returning one for a touchdown against the Jets. It didn’t seem like we played all that great in the last two games against clearly inferior teams. I think if we play the same way on Thursday, then we may just get beat.

I think so far this season the Packers are overachieving. But now is the time that we must separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, and the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian. Yes, we have to play our best to beat the Fudgepackers. This will not be a gimme. The big issue here is our porous pass defense. We’ve given up huge amounts of yardage to several QB’s this season, including Brady, Campbell, and She-li Manning. We need a healthy Anthony Henry, and good safety play in the middle of the field. We need to bust up some passes over the middle, instead of watching them play pitch and catch. We need to jump some short passes in the flat and return them for touchdowns. Actually, what we really need is for DeMarcus Ware to firmly plant his helmet into Favre’s chest on the first play of the game. Just watch. Green Bay will probably “try to establish the run” against our defense. It ain’t gonna be git R done. It’s gonna be shut R down. Vegas has the Cowboys favored by 6.5. I hope we win by double digits.

Of note; the Vegas line has the Patriots 14 point favorites over Dallas in the Super Bowl as of this morning. Not if we smack the shit out of Tom Brady.

It has been a sad season for the Longhorn Nation, having lost to both OU and A&M. Maybe UT will let Mack go out and buy a good defense like OU does.

Prediction: Dallas 27 – Green Bay 17

Go Cowboys!

Kill Joe.

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Cowboys Nation,

We did not blow out the Redskins like I’d hoped. It was a good game that came down to the final play, almost like Cowboys-Redskins games of yore. Even though I still remain a member of the George Teague Fan Club, it was great to see T.O. earn his money with 4 TD receptions against our biggest rival, and account for our entire scoring for the day. They played us tough. They always do. They may have played their best game of the year against us. We didn’t play our best game, and still won. I’ll take the W anyway we can get it.

Now we prepare for our annual Thanksgiving Day game, this year against the 2-8 Jets, who just beat the pits out of Tittsburgh. Go figure. I’m looking forward to a rout of another New York team. Of course we’ll probably play like we did against Buffalo, and keep a team that we should blow out in it for the whole game on national television.

It looks like we’re going to have to wait for the playoffs before we actually see someone smack the shit out of Tom Brady.(kill joe). The Patsies are getting annoying.

Prediction: Dallas 38 – NYJ 13

Go Cowboys!

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Cowboys Faithful,

It looks as though new jersey knows all there is to know about the crying game. We spanked the midgets in their ultra-gay red uniforms on their home turf 31-20. She-li Manning was sent home whining like the girly-man that he is. Their high and mighty defense only surrendered 4 TD passes. Looks like they got lucky.

The DFN Award goes to Kevin Burnett for taunting the midgets into better field position so they could score before halftime, tying the score at 17-17, instead of kneeling it like they were going to do because they’re scared little whiny-girls.

The Academy Award for taking the best fall in front of an official goes to RB Brandon Jacobs, who was touched by LB Brady James after a play, and fell over backwards as if he’d been run over, drawing a personal foul penalty for an extra 15 yards to make it first and goal at the 10. Jacobs, who is 6’4”, 250 lbs., later commented that he’d like to thank all the little people who helped to make this award possible, and that he’ll next be starring in the hit Broadway musical The Gay Giant, where he and his offensive line will sing such favorites as The Giant Way To Suck, and It’s Easy To Be a Homo When You’ve Been Beaten By Tony Romo.

Next up for The Best Team In Football is our only true rival, the Foreskins. If you ask the Egirls or the Gnats who is their biggest rival, they’ll both tell you it’s the Cowboys. Fine. Ours is the Deadskins. The Egirls and the Gnats aren’t even good enough to hate. Look for Witten to have a big game on Sunday, because Washington will do whatever they can to try to limit the production of T.O. MB3 should have a good day too. Our defense against the run is improving, and Portis will be frustrated all day. They always play us tough, so you can pretty much throw the records out the window when previewing this game. I still think we’ll win, though. Let’s all hope that Cleveland can crumble down the stretch, and that Buffalo can find some way to smack the shit out of Tom Brady.

Prediction: Dallas 42 – Washington 16

Go Cowboys!

p.s. Kill Joe

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My take on Anthony Spencer is that he’s a great player, but now that Greg Ellis is back from his Achilles injury (thankfully), he just splits time with Ellis. That will allow him to develop into a star and not have the pressure of being the rookie that’s on the field every play and getting burned. No, I don’t think he’s another Bobby Carpenter. But this strategy has certainly worked for Romo. Ellis will retire soon enough, giving way to Spencer at the right time for him to be a great player.
I think Wade is doing a good job with his rookies this season so far. He’s also holding back Free and Marten on the O-line. I’m happy to see the speed of Stanback on the field though.
I hope we break Sh-Eli in half on Sunday.
Go Cowboys.

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Cowboys Nation,
This just in… the road to the playoffs does in fact go through Philadelphia. Right through Philadelphia. In midseason. Easily. Like a steamroller.

Cowboys Nation, it was a satisfying victory over the Egirls on Sunday night, who never really gave us the tough game we anticipated. Tony had another 300 yard passing day, and T.O. ripped his old team a new one with 10 catches for 174 yards. The All-Madden play of the year was turned in by Jason Witten with his helmetless 53 yard reception in the second half. Both JJ and MB3 scored on goal-to-go runs, and our defense played one of its best games of the year.

Now we get to go to the Swamplands in new jersey to play the gnats. Ooooooo. They’re on a six game winning streak. Ooooooo. They’re amazing. Ooooooo. Their defense has only allowed 13 points a game during their six wins.

Bullshit.

The giants have played six teams that are a combined 13-30, NOT counting the 6 losses to the giants. Eli(zabeth) Manning is a whiny man-baby that cries in the huddle. He couldn’t lead a team if he was strapped to a dog sled. The only rush he can escape is that of the thrill of victory. And he throws like a girl.

We will assert our dominance in the NFC East on Sunday.

Prediction: Dallas 27 – NYG 17

Go Cowboys!

p.s. Can someone please smack the shit out of Tom Brady!

Kill Joe!